Protecting Yourself if You are Being Stalked

I. STALKING CHECKLIST

To help determine whether you or someone you know is a victim of stalking, see if anything on the following checklist of sample stalking behaviors matches your situation.

Does a current or former spouse or boyfriend, friend, coworker, neighbor, casual acquaintance or complete stranger . . .

Leave harassing, threatening or obscene messages on your answering machine at home or at your workplace?

Call you repeatedly at your home or workplace, even when asked to stop?

Insist on giving you unwanted gifts, cards, notes or letters?

Watch you or follow you at a distance?

Appear at or drive by your workplace, home or any other place you frequent in your daily activities?

Harass or question your family members, friends, acquaintances or co-workers as to your whereabouts?

Repeatedly send you unwanted e-mail messages?

Photograph or video you repeatedly?

Vandalize or deface your property, car, mail, etc.?

Repeatedly confront you (or your family members) with verbal or physical threats?

Act in some other manner so that your own personal safety feels compromised on a continuing basis?

Stalking can encompass a wide range of behaviors, only some of which are listed above. A stalker may employ very subtle forms of harassment that can, nonetheless, cause a great deal of fear.

II. DEALING WITH STALKING

Although no solution is foolproof, the strategies listed below can help reduce the potential danger of stalking.

Some require dealing with the legal system and the courts, while others are self-help techniques that you can do on your own. A few of the strategies will help you prepare for taking legal action. Remember, even if you do not anticipate involving the police or the courts at this time, it is best to keep your options open in case something changes. You do not want to disregard a strategy now that may help you take future action. You should also keep in mind that not all strategies will be right for you at all times. Some strategies may impose risks or costs that you do not want to take on, or you may find that different strategies are more or less helpful as your circumstances change. Only you can decide what is appropriate for you.


1. Keep Records

Maintain a stalking log. This can be a crucial part of your self-protection and can prove invaluable should you decide to take legal action. Keep a record of all of the stalker’s activities or actions, noting the dates, and if possible, the times at which they occurred. This is an essential step to take because, in most states, you cannot obtain a conviction for a crime without knowing the date on which the crime occurred. Because you may need to give the police or your attorney a copy of your recrds,do not keep the log as part of your personal diary.
For an example of a stalking log, you can visit the National Center for Victims of Crime website at www.ncvc.org.

Save all evidence documenting the stalking: letters, e-mails, notes, gifts or messages left on your answering machine. Take pictures of destroyed property. Make copies of everything you can, and keep the copies in a safe place or with someone you trust. Evidence of the stalker’s acts can help establish the “intent” requirement present in many states’ stalking statutes, facilitating a conviction.


2. Protect Yourself

Change phone numbers. Have the phone company keep your number unlisted or install caller identification on your telephone. If possible, have coworkers or the receptionist at work screen your calls. You may want to have your name and number removed from the automated phone directory at work.

Try to keep the stalker from gaining personal information about you. Particularly if the stalker does not have your address or if you have moved, consider removing your home address from all checks, business cards and letterheads. Change your mailing address to a private post office box. Place property titles in a trust so that the stalker cannot obtain your address from public records. If your state or county authorizes it, request that voter registration and driver's license information remain confidential. If your local or state agencies do release addresses to anyone who requests them, you should request in writing that your address not be released to anyone but the authorities.

Change your passwords for e-mail or other computer access often and do not tell anyone your passwords or use passwords that a stalker or anyone else could easily guess. Pick a user identification that does not use your real name. Do not reveal any personal information in public spaces on-line, such as chat rooms.


You may want to protect your confidentiality online by not selecting any of the options for your Internet service to remember the user’s name or password. You may also want to clear the search history on your browser to keep the stalker from knowing what sites you have recently viewed. You may want to consult the police or other experts in dealing with stalkers before exercising this option, because knowledge of the stalker’s behaviors may, in some cases, assist in anticipating future threats and potential danger.


In cases of cyberstalking, contact the stalker’s Internet Service Provider (ISP). Many ISPs prohibit harassment through use of their system and will sometimes respond by closing the stalker’s account. Identify the ISP through the domain name following the “@” sign, and contact the system administrator through the company’s web site. Remain aware of your surroundings. This will help you detect and prevent uncomfortable or dangerous situations.


Vary daily routines, driving and walking routes, and places where you shop. It is a good idea to change any social habits that the stalker knows. You may want to go to a new church, a different gym, and change which bars or clubs you frequent.


Try to avoid traveling alone especially in places where you will be away from the public. If you are being followed while driving, do not drive directly home. If the stalker does not know where you live, do not risk revealing it to him. If possible, when you leave work, have a security guard escort you to your car or to the nearest public transportation stop.


Consider informing friends, family and neighbors of the situation, as they could help keep you out of danger and/or serve as potential witnesses. If they do not know what the stalker looks like, show them any pictures you may have. If you do not have a picture, consider carrying a camera with you in the event that the stalker approaches you again.

Warn any friends, neighbors, family, landlords, security guards, employers, etc. that any cooperation with the stalker acts as encouragement. Request that they
not cooperate or encourage the stalker in any way; and realize that if they cooperate with or encourage a stalker, they may be held liable for any subsequent action that the stalker takes against you.

Do not give out information about friends, confidantes, or potential new partners to the stalker. Be leery of please for discussion, meetings or attempts to reconcile; this can put you within physical reach of a potentially dangerous person.

If you work in a large company, you may want to ask your supervisor for a transfer to another office area or branch. Depending on the specifics of the case, your employer may provide additional security measures to reduce your exposure to the stalker. Informing coworkers also can be useful, as they may be more aware of unusual or suspicious activity in the workplace and may later be able to confirm your account of the stalking.

You may want to provide a copy of any protection orders that you have to your employer. You may want to give copies to your supervisor, the legal department, and
security personnel. In some states your employer may also be able to get a protective order for you. (See below for more information on protective orders.)
Consider adding additional home protection, such as dead bolts, outdoor lights and, if possible, a home security system. Change your locks if the stalker has
access to your keys.

You might also consider enrolling in a self-defense class
and participating in support groups.

Involve the Police and the Courts

If it is safe for you to do so, report any and all threats to the police and notify the police of any illegal acts. If possible, contact the police as soon as an incident occurs.

Should the police seem unhelpful, unresponsive or unwilling to help you don’t panic. Simply get their names and badge numbers and report them to their supervisor and attempt to report your complaint to another officer.

You may want to obtain a protective order or restraining order. These orders can prohibit the stalker from coming within a specified distance of you, your home or your workplace.

§ Contact a local domestic violence program or go to your local courthouse and find out if you qualify for a protective order; if you do, apply for an order immediately. If you are told that you do not qualify, make absolutely sure (e.g., speak to a supervisor), because the person you see initially may not have adequate training or awareness of recent changes in the law. A list of some state domestic violence coalitions is available on the National Coalition


Against Domestic Violence website, www.ncadv.org.
§ Note that in some states, protective orders can be obtained in either criminal court or civil court.

§ Be sure not to place your home address or telephone number on the actual order, as this will probably become a public record and can easily be obtained by anyone, particularly a stalker who did not previously know your current address.

§ State laws vary. Consequently, after obtaining the order, find out what will be required of you if your stalker violates the order, and what type of proof or documentation you will need to begin prosecution, if necessary. Find out what a police officer who comes to your aid is obligated to do if the stalker violates the order. Also, find out when the order will be served on the stalker, as you may want to take special precautions for yourself and your family at that time.

When possible, file criminal charges against your stalker. Insist on your rights even if the police seem dismissive. After being encouraged to file charges by a female prosecutor, one woman encountered a police employee who only begrudgingly allowed her to file the complaint while another cracked jokes about it. She noted, however, that filing the complaint saved her life. “Last May, [the stalker] was caught by police on my block with a loaded gn. When the officers learned that I had lodged formal complaints, it made a crucial difference: They could arrest [the stalker] without his actually attacking me.”

If possible, bring a civil suit (a suit brought by you and your attorney, not by the state) against the stalker even if you decide not to press criminal charges. If you win your lawsuit, a court may order the defendant to pay you money to compensate for medical and other expenses that resulted from the stalking or for the resulting pain, suffering and physical and mental injuries. Some states have statutes pertaining specifically to stalking behavior that enable you to sue for monetary damages.

In states that lack these provisions, potential claims include “assault and battery” (someone has touched you without your consent),“intentional infliction of emotional distress” (a person acted in a shocking way and intended for you to suffer severe emotional harm or knows that acting in that manner would cause you to suffer such harm) and invasion of privacy. Talk to an attorney about these options.

III. CONCLUSION
The strategies listed above provide useful tools for dealing with stalking. Some of them are relatively easy to undertake in terms of time and money.

Unfortunately, though, some of the strategies may be costly and time-consuming. Similarly, regardless of cost, only certain strategies may be appropriate for you in your specific circumstances. Remember, though, that you are not alone. The lists provided at the end of this kit include contact information for organizations that may be able to assist you.

ADDRESS CONFIDENTIALITY PROGRAM FOR DV, ABUSE & STALKING VICTIMS

If you or someone you know are a VICTIM
of Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault or Stalking, and need to conceal your address . . .

We can help!

Janets' Story*
*Fictional name to protect participant’s identity.

The first few weeks they were dating, Janet's* new boyfriend was charming, interesting and fun. But it didn't take long for her to realize that it was fake. Beneath the surface was someone deviant, controlling and dangerous. She ended the relationship, but he stalked and threatened her. He broke down the door to her apartment.

One night, he kidnapped her and held her captive in his apart- ment, beating her. Another time, he tried to throw her over a second-story balcony. She did everything the courts told her to do - obtained a protection order, stayed away from him, called the police whenever he contacted her.

"He violated the order 120 times. But because police didn't see him in the act of stalking me, they didn't do anything," Janet said. "I couldn't go anywhere. He would call. He would text message. He would just show up. Sometimes, he would just sit and watch my apartment."

Eventually, he was arrested, pleaded guilty to 80 violations, and was sentenced to jail for two years. But even as he faced the prospect of prison, he assured Janet that one day, he would be back on the streets and he would find her and kill her. "And I knew he was serious," she said. For several years, Janet and her three young children moved from state to state, trying to hide. But when he was released from jail and tried to find her again, she was desperate.


She moved to Pennsylvania and, while enrolling her children in school, she was reluctant to transfer her son's school records because she feared her ex-boyfriend might track her through the child's school. She explained her situation to the school principal. "She remembered seeing a memo on the ACP program, and told me, 'You might want to try this,'

Janet said. Janet was connected with the Office of the Victim Advocate, and became the first Pennsylvanian enrolled in the Address Confidentiality Program (ACP). "The program is good, and the staff was really great to work with," Janet said. Janet also went so far as to change her and her children's names and Social Security numbers to further ensure that her ex-boyfriend couldn’t find them -especially since he's intelligent, has money and is computer savvy.

"I gave up everything - my home, my college degree, my employment, my credit, my Social Security earnings. Everything. It's like I and my children became dead people and these new people were born in our place," she said, explaining that when she changed her Social Security number, she had to make sure that the Social Security Administration did not link the old and new numbers. "I graduated at the top of my class and had my own business for five years," she said.

"It was a very difficult decision, but it's what I had to do to survive." Because she was the first in the program, she encountered many hurdles, but she says it was definitely worth it because it saved her life. Janet also helped iron out many of those hurdles for the current and future ACP participants.


"The ACP helped me take that first step to protecting myself and my kids," she explains. "Anyone who can relate to my situation should use it."



North Carolina Attorney General’s Office
Address Confidentiality Program

Providing victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking a way to keep their residential addresses confidential.



North Carolina’s Address Confidentiality Program
9099 Mail Service Center
Raleigh, NC 27699-9099
919.716.6785
acp@ncdoj.com

Attorney General - State of North Carolina

(NOTE:: North Carolina is one example of approximately 18 states with this program - I will be listing all participating states below - if you are interested in participating check to see if your state participates, and if not, then join us in a campaign to make the program available in all 50 states)

As Attorney General, I’ve made fighting domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking a priority. We’ve worked hard to enact tougher laws for abusers who commit these crimes and we’ve also worked to protect the rights of victims.

As part of these efforts, we created the AddressConfidentiality Program (ACP)
to help victims who’ve moved away from their abuser keep their address confidential.

Even after they’ve taken the initial steps to escape a dangerous situation, many survivors of abuse continue to live in fear. The ACP is an important way to protect survivors and the families, and give them the peace of mind they need to move on with their lives.

IF YOU ARE:

• A victim of domestic violence,
• sexual assault or stalking, and
• you live in a location unknown to your abuser or stalker, and
• you’re concerned for the safety of yourself and your family . . .
  

you may be eligible to participate in North Carolina’s

Address Confidentiality Program

WHAT THE ACP CAN DO FOR VICTIMS:

• Provide an additional layer of protection to increase overall safety.
• Provide a confidential address service to victims and their families regardless of where they live (in North Carolina) or how many times they move.
• Provide a cost-free mail forwarding service.
• Provide an ACP Authorization Card that can be presented when an address is required.
  

THE ACP CANNOT:

• Keep the address of a victim who owns real property (house or land) in her/his name out of the public records.
• Provide legal advice or counseling services.
• Help a victim get a new name or social security number.
• Be a victim’s only safety plan.
  

The ACP is only one part of a participant’s overall safety strategy.

The ACP helps victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking keep their residential addresses confidential and hidden from public view.

When a victim becomes an ACP participant, they are provided with a substitute address.

The substitute address becomes the address of public record and can be used for state and local government services including applying for a North Carolina driver’s
license and enrolling in a public school.

Because program participants use a substitute address, the ACP forwards all first-class, certified or registered mail (except packages and magazine subscriptions) to the program participant at their residential address.

IT’S EASY TO APPLY
• Call the Address Confidentiality Program at 919.716.6785 to obtain the name of a Domestic Violence/ Sexual Assault Program near you.
• Go to the program that was referred to you and meet with an ACP Application Assistant.
• Develop an overall safety plan.
• Discuss ACP guidelines and complete an application with your ACP Application Assistant.
• Submit your application to the ACP for approval, usually within 10 business days.
• Receive an ACP authorization card so you can use the substitute address.

The ACP is a free program administered by the Attorney General’s Office.

States with Address Confidentiality Programs for Domestic Violence Survivors

U.S. States with Address Confidentiality Programs or Confidential Voter Listings

STATE	WEB-BASED INFORMATION/FORMS	PHONE NUMBER
Arizona	Affidavit to Redact Voter Registration Information The State of Arizona provides a Confidential Listing program for victims of domestic violence and stalking. The link above takes you to the Arizona Supreme Court's “Self Service” website where you can download a PDF of the Affidavit. This form should be filled out, notarized, and submitted to the Superior Court of your county BEFORE registering to vote.	602-542-4285
California	Safe at Home Safe at Home is California’s Address Confidentiality Program. Through this program, a victim of domestic violence and/or stalking, and their advocates can receive a substitute mailing address for first-class mail, legal documents and public records (including voter registration). You can sign up through an “enrolling agency” such as a local domestic violence program. For the purposes of voting, you must complete a “confidential voter registration affidavit” at the time of enrollment	1-877-322-5227
Connecticut	Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) Through the ACP, victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking can receive a substitute mailing address for first-class mail and use in public records (including voter registration). Applications must be completed through a community-based domestic violence or sexual assault crisis program.	860-509-6000
Florida	Address Confidentiality Program (ACP)	850-414-3577
Illinois	Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) Due to lack of funding, this program is currently not accepting applications	312-814-5846
Indiana	Address Confidentiality (ACP) Through the ACP, victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking can receive a substitute mailing address for first-class mail and use in public records (including voter registration). Applicants must be referred by an advocate (defined as a State or Local Agency, or a nonprofit agency that provides services to victims of domestic violence). After enrollment in the ACP, you can register to vote using your assigned substitute mailing address.	1-800-321-1907
Maine	Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) Through the ACP, victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking can receive a substitute mailing address for first-class mail and use in public records (including voter registration). Application is made in person at designated ACP assistance locations (generally community-based domestic violence or sexual assault programs).	207-626-8400
Maryland	Maryland is currently in the process of creating an ACP which will be in effect October 1, 2006. For more information, contact the Secretary of State	410-974-5521
Massachusetts	Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) Through the ACP, victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking can receive a substitute mailing address for first-class mail and use in public records (including voter registration). Application is made in person with a certified application assistant (generally a staff person at a community-based domestic violence and sexual assault program).	1-866-SAFE-ADD
Minnesota	Confidential Listing When registering to vote, a victim of domestic violence can submit a written request to the County Auditor to remove the victim’s name and location from the public voter registration rolls. **In 2007 the state will introduce an Address Confidentiality Program**	651-215-1440
Montana	Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) Through ACP, the Office of Victim Services provides confidential substitute addresses to victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking for first-class mail and use in public records. To apply, download the application form and mail it to the address on the form. To register to vote through the ACP, check the box “I DO want information regarding voter registration”. Once your application is approved, the ACP office will send you the necessary materials.	406-444-5803
Nebraska	Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) Through the ACP, victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking can receive a substitute mailing address for first-class mail and use in public records (including voter registration). Application is made in person at one of the State’s designated victim assistance programs. Designated programs include state or local agencies as well as private centers that provide counseling and shelter services to victims of abuse, sexual assault or stalking.	402-471-3568
Nevada	Confidential Address Program (CAP) Through CAP, victims of domestic violence and sexual assault can receive a substitute mailing address for first-class mail and use in public records (including voter registration). You may only apply through certified advocate groups, law enforcement agencies and some local and state government offices.	775-684-5707
New Hampshire	Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) Through the ACP, victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking can receive a substitute mailing address for first-class mail and use in public records (including voter registration). Anyone interested in applying for the ACP must contact one of the 14 crisis centers in New Hampshire for consultation and assistance.	603-271-1240
New Jersey	Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) Through the ACP, victims of domestic violence can receive a substitute mailing address for first-class mail and use in public records (including voter registration). Anyone interested in applying for the ACP must contact their county domestic violence program.	1-877-218-9133
North Carolina	Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) - PDF file Through the ACP, victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking can receive a substitute mailing address for first-class mail and use in public records (including voter registration). Application is made in person with a certified application assistant (generally a staff person at a community-based domestic violence or sexual assault program).	919-716-6784
Oklahoma	Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) Through the ACP, victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking can receive a substitute mailing address for first-class mail and use in public records (including voter registration). Application is made in person at designated domestic violence, sexual assault or victim service programs.	405-557-1700
Oregon	Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) The State is currently in the process of creating the ACP, which will be operational by January 1, 2007.	503-378-4400
Pennsylvania	Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) Through ACP, the Office of the Victim Advocate provides confidential substitute addresses to victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking for first-class mail and use in public records. Application is made in person at a local domestic violence, sexual assault or victim service program.	1-800-563-6399
Rhode Island	Address Confidentiality for the Purposes of Voting This program allows the State Elections Division to remove a victim of domestic violence’s home address from public voter registration records. In place of the home address, the Elections Division assigns a substitute mailing address for all election related materials. Applications may can be requested in person or by mail from the Office of the Secretary of State, Elections Division, 100 North Main Street, Second Floor, Providence, Rhode Island 02903. Applications also may be obtained from local domestic violence programs.	401-222-2340
Vermont	Safe at Home Safe at Home is Vermont’s Address Confidentiality Program. Through this program, a victim of domestic violence and/or stalking can receive a substitute mailing address for first-class mail, legal documents and public records (including voter registration). Interested applicants may apply for program participation at a local domestic violence, sexual assault or stalking program office or through a statewide Victim Advocate Office.	802-828-0586
Virginia	Confidential Listing This option allows a victim of domestic violence or stalking to use a PO Box on public voter registration records. To use this option, you must have filed a complaint with a magistrate or law enforcement official and you must use Virginia’s Voter Registration Form. Fill out the registration form and, in addition to including your home address, make sure you include a valid PO Box in Section 7. At the bottom of the form, check the box that identifies your reason for seeking a confidential listing ("protective court order" or "threatened/stalked") and attach a copy of your filed complaint. Please note, your home address is needed to ensure you receive the proper ballot for your district -- it will not appear on public registration rolls.	804-864-8901
Washington	Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) Through the ACP, victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking can receive a substitute mailing address for first-class mail and use in public records (including voter registration). Anyone interested in applying for the ACP must contact their local domestic violence program.	360-753-2972
Wisconsin	Confidential Listing This option allows victims of domestic violence to be listed confidentially on poll and registration lists. An individual must personally register to vote in the office of the Municipal Clerk and make a written request for confidentiality (you can use the Wisconsin Elector Request for Confidential Listing Form). You will receive a Voter Identification Card featuring a unique ID Number that will be used in place of your name and address on all public voting records.	608-266-8005